Sal's Forum Newspaper - January 2009 - Letter from the Editor

Greetings.
After what feels like an eternity, I am proud to bring you issue 14 of Sal's Newspaper. Although, of course, more haste means less speed, and we've made sure this issue is full of everything you expect - jokes, interviews, and, of course, in-depth articles on everything under Gielnor's Sun. So, if you've got five minutes, or five hours, pull up a chair, and read on!
Enjoy issue 14, and maybe, just maybe, issue 15 will come out a little quicker.
~Jam.

This Issue at a Glance

First of all, we are sorry for keeping you waiting so long for this issue, but luckily it is finally here! This issue has quite a few articles, including A Glance at 2008 by Dr Skull. Next, we have an Interview with Helk by Youhei. We also have Zimbabwe by R Anderson, which is full of interesting information. Lastly, we have Pitawakia: Part 5 by Zachary B. Of course, these are not all of the articles in this issue, so make sure you check out the other extremely interesting articles!

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Quotes of the Month

Tahngarth69: I don't understand why there hasn't been any assassination attempts on Bush yet.
blad: Because nobody wants Dick Cheney in office

Aamelo: Humm...but i will stil try (If its a fake your a Dead Person)
Peace: Hmm... a slightly revolting idea...

Arianna: Anyway, I'm listening to a song (in Italian) which talks about a certain Jimmy Paedophile who gets beaten to death by angry parents only to find out that Paedophile was his surname and not his field of activity. And it gets even weirder from there, such as him meeting in Paradise with some other people who suffered his same fate, such as Mike Uxoricidal, Robert Killtoddlers and Fabiane Buttrapedeadmen.

Truly an epic song.

Egghebrecht: Only Indiana Jones is allowed to exhume ancient threads

Kamonian Wax: It's fun being a girl in the game because you can mess with guys!
Da Scotsman: That children is why you never hire a RuneScape hooker.

Arianna: 1337th comment GET
Dad: Spamming is imoral. (Pixel, please delete Dani's comment, give ME the 1337th comment)
Cookthechef: Back seat moderator.
Arianna: The back seat has better uses than moderating.

Wiltingplant: It was not speedo!
Wiltingplant: that was an off brand ok!?
Easl/Gia master: Wilting theres a pseedo advert here in RS
Wiltingplant: there too speedy... I buy the off brand

Cookthechef: ...I got 17th place in a race...
Fishee: I got 18th place, you have a nice behind

Kuraudo Sutoraifu: I'M 14 TODAY WOOT. bday's 1st october 2008
Po22: What a coincidence. Im a pedophile.

Hamrianna: Beat 'em up and show who is not gay? Violence is always the key. Tell the principal.
Gillis: He asked for a way to prove that he isn't gay.

Arianna: Welcome to our world, honey.
Un0: *sniff*
Arianna: ..I didn't mean to push you directly to cocaine usage...sry

nova dude987: i...being an athiest...dont realy like the pledge...if this nation is "under bod" thein i hate this nation
John Adams: If this nation is "under bod", who the hell is bod?

Topic Title: Selling Sperm
123man: Shouldn't this be in the marketplace? Never mind, I just read the title.

Phoenix Rider: Why thank u for trying our free trail version. Plz wait until the ride comes into a full stop and say hi to Dani the Bear on the way out.
Remember, the Sals Realm of Runescape Full Membership Edition is available on shelves for only $9.95. Buy now and we'll trow in Po22. He sings, he jokes. It's Po22! Buy now!

Twist of Fate: Exactly. Comparing rap and rock is like comparing which tastes better. Apples, or chairs.

Skelex20: Can't make it, darn. The event starts the same minute that my mother's Parental Controls time restrictions come into effect. =-(

Emanick: I thought it was kind of pathetic, sort of disjointed, and not very offensive.
Dalai-Z: It's canada, What can you expect?

Gillis: So i was with my honey and i was making out wen the phone rigns. i anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" i tell my girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

Raide: ....ok, you could always do this
you use a condom
and he uses spermcide
i think that's the best way to go
Jr Josh: Raide for best typo of the year.

Topic Title: Whats Your Biggest Character Strength?
Whitey: I can fit into tight holes (H).

Peace:
Teacher: "Now class today we are going to learn about Adolf Hitler."
Student: "But we already no Adolf, his name is german or something and he is in the 4th grade and he likes megan."
Teacher: "Not that hitler were taking about the racist murderer."
Students: *whisper whisper*

DeathSythe: no, i just hate basketball,only gay people play it i think.

Youhei: the bg is random, since the right is like that the left should have some of the right, and what is masturbate?

Blyaunte: 99.99999% of all religious debates usually break down into "my imaginary friend can beat up your imaginary friend"

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Life at the Realm

- There are approximately 17,000 registered members at Sal's Realm, less members than last time due to pruning of old, unused, abandoned accounts. Our members have now made over 3 million posts!

- Congratulations to the newest Clan Chat moderators, Goggie and Gavri, our newest DMs, Doddsy, Dr Skull, Emanick, Finisterra and Hawk and the winners of the Database Drive competion: Hawk, Helk and Ej_! And, special congratulations to Spar for joining the ranks of the Admins!

- Loads and loads of new quest and minigame guides have been added to the site since the last issue, with 16 guides and two new calculators being added in January alone!

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